It’s been a few days already that I’ve been stopping myself from going out and taking photos. I think I’ve been preoccupied with the idea of getting recognized. If I really enjoy taking photos, why the heck am I not doing it? And every time I think about it, it’s because when I post them anywhere, I get no reaction. How did I become like this? I know deep down that’s not how it works. I have gigabytes upon gigabytes of photos since 2006 from my China journey, and if I compile them one day, it’s going to be fantastic!
I know it, but why am I not doing anything about it? Do I expect that after my death, someone will spend time creating a collection out of it? Why am I waiting? I also need to earn my bread and butter by doing what I do well—just enough to survive, if not thrive. Looking at the last photo I took with my camera is a bit sad. On the other hand, I do take photos with my phone and usually feel happy about it. Today, I don’t want to spend money on licenses, music, editing software, etc. I just want to take photos and let someone else do the part I don’t enjoy for the money. But I haven’t reached a stage where that can be arranged. I know I’m just venting right now, but that’s what social circles are supposed to be for, right?
Last time something like this happened, it resulted in me deleting a couple of online portfolios—one of them being my National Geographic Magazine account. A few months later, I found one of my photos featured in “Your Shot” on Pinterest—my second photo to be selected. Who really cares if it’s a happy story, a sad one, or incomplete? Why should I care? I should just keep taking photos and store them somewhere to be looked at. Period.
The last decent photo that I remember I took was this at a Photo exhibition in Shanghai. It’s what I love to do, capturing moments, and I am proud of it. But part of me this looking for more people to see it. This is wrong in all the dimensions, right? Do the good job, and all good things will follow? Nope, that is not how it works. Anyway, enjoy ranting about it. Here is the photo I am talking about/
